I confess ...

OK, it's not the Friday confessional that my SIL discussed on her blog ... but, Saturday will have to do!

*I am still in my nigtshirt and underwear and it's practically 1:00 in the afternoon.

*I waisted 2 hours playing Bricks Breaking on FaceBook

*I wish I had a maid.

*The check engine light went on in my car again ... people are going to start thinking I am having a fling with the service center manager at the dealer!

* I asked Him to fix it, nicely ...

*What I meant to say is .... "Make it stay off!! I am annoyed by this! Think ouside the box and figure out what is wrong with it ya crazed doofus!"

* I dropped a meatball on the floor in my dirty kitchen and ate it anyway!

*How pathetic is that??

*I have shingles!

*They are painfull little buggers!

*Sometimes Oprah Annoys me ... does that make me unAmerican??

*I have to pee ...was that TMI???

*DEAL with it!

Faith Points to The Future ...

Elder Holland had a great article in the January Ensign! Filled with a message that I really needed to hear.

Sometimes I think we get so hung up in the past that we distort what is important right here, right now. Don't live in regret! Move forward and don't waste your time with what if's and, although it's nice to "remember when" occasionally, Sometimes the memories we live over and over again are of frustration... pain and regret. Don't live in those memories. That time is gone.

Some of the best lessons life has taught me is that:

1) Faith points to the future.

2) Forgive and forget ... forgive yourself as well as others. An unforgiving heart will surely stunt your growth because it leaves you stagnet in life.

3) The best is yet to be ... with that mindset alone, you will be destine to continue moving forward!

Elder Holland said:

"Sometimes I wonder: Is there any future for me? What does my new/old job hold for me? Will I be safe? Will life be sound? Can I trust in the Lord and in the future? Or would it be better to look back, to go back, to stay in the past?
To all such of every generation, I call out, “Remember Lot’s wife.” Faith is for the future. Faith builds on the past but never longs to stay there. Faith trusts that God has great things in store for each of us and that Christ truly is the “high priest of good things to come” (Hebrews 9:11).
Keep your eyes on your dreams, however distant and far away. Live to see the miracles of repentance and forgiveness, of trust and divine love that will transform your life today, tomorrow, and forever."

wise words ... They have certainly been words that I needed to hear to start the new year! I hope they help you too!

Philippians 3:13

"... but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before..."

What Matters Most ...

January 3, 2010 ... do we say two thousand ten or twenty ten??? does it matter???
Well anyway, Happy New Year!

I was driving to my sister's house on Christmas eve and feeling so sad ... I was missing my family ... the ones that live beyond the veil and my heart was aching for a time when innocence and Santa Claus were my only cares on Christmas Eve. When my brothers were there ... irritating me beyond words!! Because they did ...
I wished that I could turn back the clock just this once and wake up for Christmas morning in my grandparents house and race down the stairs of her house to open presents and bask in the joy of the day. And let my brother's irritate me one more time ...

But the reality of the moment was apparent as I putted down the Bangerter ... when I was that young ... the Bangerter was just miles and miles of empty fields!

I thought about 2009 and I started counting everything that went wrong in the year and very soon I was enveloped with a deep sadness ... I asked out loud ... " Heavenly Father, will the ache in my heart ever heal?"
Just as I said this, I was approaching 114th south and just above me was the Oquirrh Mountain Temple! I turned at the light and went and sat in front of the temple for just a moment. I was overcome with the warmth of the spirit. Almost like a hug ... I felt the spirit whisper, ..." give Me the ache ... just give it to Me and I will bare your burden. This is it ... right here before you ... this is what makes it matter" and I looked toward the temple and felt like I could almost reach out and touch eternity! My family is forever! and I knew in my heart that I would be OK! ...

Life happens and in that life ... crap happens! That's just the plain truth of it ... but we have a Savior who came to assure that I could have everything!His perfect love and a forever family! I am so grateful ... and I thought of the words to a poem that I wrote last year (Is it vain to quote your own words?) ...

"I’m heavy with sadness
That I can’t control
The heart ache and pain
That burdens my soul."

And I thought of His answer to my prayer back then,

Somehow in the stillness
His whisper does say ,
“My daughter, I’m here
And I hear as you pray,”

“I know you can’t see me
But, I hold you so tight
In the arms of My love
Just seek ye my light.”

And I felt Him. I felt His love as it circled round about me and I was comforted. I know that whatever happens in life. Whatever we must endure ... whatever comes our way, our Savior is there to comfort and guide and hold us. He knows us personally and he cares and 2009 was filled with wonderful things. More wonderful things than those that brought sadness. I am blessed with abundance! I have the gospel ... I have family .... I have friends ... I have indoor plumbing....diet coke and donuts! what more could I want ... the promise of eternity, and a family that is forever ... the sweetest gift I have ever been given.