I am always in Awe of our Heavenly Father who has a way of reminding me every now and again of my worth. He knows when I have reached the end of my rope and I am done ... just done. And then He reaches into my life and pulls out those experiences of which my worth was validated and he wraps them with a bow and gives them back to me as treasured gifts. I want to share one of these experiences;
I was employed at a cell phone company here in Utah for a short time. I worked on the customer service lines. My typical day included 90% social work (because that's just my personality) and 10% cell phone troubleshooting.
I had an experience there that I recently recalled with clarity … I want to share:
Me: This is Jana, How can I help you?
"Mom?" a shaky voice on the other end of the phone asked,
ME: "I doubt it," I answered, "I’m no-body’s mom."
Woman: Sorry, I have the wrong number.
ME: No worries.
Now, I have one of those personalities that make me think it is my personal mission to save the world one person at a time. So, before the woman hung up I asked, "Are you OK?"
"No," her voice quivered. "My 14 year old daughter came and told me and my husband she’s pregnant. My husband went ballistic and kicked her out of the house. Well, she’s 14! So, I packed a bag and went with her."
We are in a dump dive motel on the outskirts of town. She is devastated and I am heartbroken. My husband said we could only come back home if I promised to take her to get an abortion. Every fiber in my soul says that’s the wrong choice to make. What am I supposed to do?"
WOW! My "Are you OK?" question was apparently loaded! My mind was racing, what do I say? I don’t believe in coincidences so I knew that I was God’s choice to navigate these waters.
me: "Do you believe in God?" that’s all I could think to ask.
Woman: Yes …but I haven’t been to church since I was 12.
Me: You need to put that belief in God in the center of your core and trust that he can help your family through this.
Woman: I don’t know how to do that.
ME: Just ask, talk to him just like you’re talking to me., ask Him to inspire you with direction, ask Him to soften your husband’s heart.
Woman: "It can’t be that simple." She stated flatly
Me: Anything that requires faith, if you feel like you don’t have it, is not simple. Faith will make it easier, ask Him to help you with your faith.
Silence
Me: Mam, are you still there?
Woman: Yes
Me: What inspires you?
Woman: music.
Me: Look for a Michael Mclean song called, "From God’s Arms to My Arms to Yours" Google it …you won’t regret it.
Woman: I never heard of him ...
Me: "Trust me, what have you got to lose? Oh, an did you need help with your cell phone?" I asked as an afterthought, remembering that I was indeed at work.
Woman: "No," she replied thoughtfully, " I thought I dialed the wrong number, but now I'm not so sure I did."
I laughed ... "Call me back if you need to talk."
About six weeks later,
Me on the phone at work: "This is Jana, how can I help you?"
Woman: "I’m sure you don’t remember me, I have been transferred all over the country and I’m sure to India and back, but, are you the girl who likes Michael Mclean songs?"
ME: "Yes!" I was shocked!
Woman: "Well, I found it … the song "From God's Arms To My Arms to Yours" and it has made all the difference. There is also a song called "Hold On, The Light Will Come" ... which fills my spirit whenever I listen.
ME: "I'm so glad." I answered, "Is your daughter OK?"
Woman: Yes, she picked a family; it will be an open adoption … It’s hard, but it feels right.
Me: How’s your husband?
Woman: Well, He came and got us from the Motel that night. He’s a hot head, but when he calms down it usually works out.
ME: I’m glad.
Woman: "Thank you." She whispered.
Have you ever felt like your existence was insignificant? Or perhaps that the world as you know it was going to crumble and fall around you leaving you drifting in space alone ... I know that sounds a bit dramatic, but we all have bad days. I have been faced with a personal challenge in one aspect of my life where I have found someone trying very hard to crush my spirit. When you feel that way, you question your worth.
Well, during a prayer for strength and peace I recalled this experience from my life with clarity. My Father was reminding me that no matter who in this world is trying to trip anyone of us up ... there is value in our existence. Wading through the crap is an unfortunate but very necessary part of our personal journey. He places people in our lives or experiences that enable us to use our power as His children to lift one another until we are back in His arms again.
I thank God for the gift He gave Michael Mclean so Michael could inspire me to lift that mother's aching soul and in turn, 5 years later, that experience could lift me up again and bring a smile to my heavy heart.
