I have been tagged ....

I am: Jana, an emotional wreck!
I think: Dan Rascon on 2 News is cute!
I know: Lots of stuff ...Just don't give me a pop quiz!
I want: A date with George Clooney, a labodomy, to be a contestant on Deal Or No Deal! (not necessarily in that order)
I dislike: shopping carts left in parking places and couples who fight in public!!
I miss: Being a kid, my brother who lives in heaven, my grandma and grandpa who live in heaven too! And my niece who's on a mission!
I fear: heights which is the sole reason that I think they should put nitris oxide in the oxygen masks on a plane ...cause if your going down, you may as well go down happy and high five God when you get there!
I feel: Irritated with life ...Ahhhh, I'm losing control!
I hear: the voices in my head!!! I wish they'd shut up or at least say something valuable!
I smell: The cat box ...it's not very pleasant I might add!
I crave: peanut butter chocolate chip cookies ...fish and chips from Red Robin and Snicker doodles!
I cry: I am a bawling sack of crap lately ..snif snif!
I usually: talk to myself (don't tell my therapist)
I search: for pennies on the ground because "when you find a penny on the ground, an angels love is close around it's someone whom you love that's gone and is thinking of your own heartsong, and missing you and loving you where e'r they are you know it's true."
I wonder: When He comes again will I be ready there, to look upon His loving face and join with Him in prayer ...(I stole the line from a primary song, it's true!)
I regret: some choices I have made but I learned lessons I'll never regret!
I love: to laugh (from the gut), my awesome family and great friends
I care: about the soldiers serving our country, about my family,about children who are hungry and lonely, about the future of our country, about animals.
I always: Pray in the car on the way to work ... I can't think of anyone better to talk to ...
I worry: continually ... I am the worry diva of all time!
I am not: self centered!
I remember: Dreaming of being married to David Cassidy ... that never worked out ...
I believe: That I am loved by a divine power that I will never fully understand
I dance: when ever the song in my head makes its way to my feet!
I sing: all the time... every where ...in my car ...in the shower ... in the bathroom at work....everywhere!
I don't always: Eat the right foods! (I'm sure you are shocked)
I argue: With the voices in my head!
I write: and I write and I write ....because it fills me up!
I win: the prize for being perfectly delightful in every way!
I lose: All my senses whe I hear Josh Groban sing "You raise me up"!
I wish: I would wake up tomorrow thin enough to sit on the floor and stand up again without help!.
I listen: to life ...it's fascinating!
I don't understand: all things ...but I have faith that it'll all work out in the eternal wash!
I can usually be found: In the bathroom! (I pee alot)
I am scared: That I'll never be enough ... that I worry too much or not enough ...of spiders and furry rodents!!!!
I need: Therapy ... or a big wet juicy kiss from a hot single latter day saint male!
I forget: when I am stressed
I am happy: most of the time!
I tag: Whoever wants to do this or is looking for something to post.

You don't need an appointment to pray ...

I want to share my testimony of the power of the priesthood. I grew up in a home where there was no priesthood. We relied on the Bishop, his counselors, and when we had them, faithful home teachers. That always required a phone call and an appointment. If the blessing was needed immeadiatly someone from the ward could always be found ... but tracking them down was hard ...
My greatest dream as a child was to grow up and have the priesthood in my home so that I didn't have to make an appointment for a blessing ...so I wouldn't have to track someone down when I needed them. Well, that never happened ...I still have to track someone down or make an appointment ...
When someone in my family is in trouble, the first thing I say is, “have you had a blessing” they always give me that dumfounded , dah, I haven’t thought of that look.
I get so stinkin irritated with that! The priesthood is a valuable and powerful gift ! The hand of God working through his servants here on earth! Why isn’t it the first thing everybody thinks of? The priesthood and it’s power can heal the sick, raise the dead … yes, raise the dead ! It is the very same power Christ used while ministering here on the earth! He preformend miracles ... miracles can happen now too ... with the priesthood power! … I think of the story in the scriptures of the man who brought his afflicted son to Christ and asked Christ to Heal him. And Christ asked …”Do you believe?” The man said, “ I do believe, help me in my unbelief.”
I believe !! And my faith is so strong but still, when I need the priesthood power in my life I get so frustrated because much like my childhood, I have to rely on my Bishopric or home teacher. And because of that … I need an appointment! I have had many a sleepless nights knowing that there are people I could call, but also knowing that they have wives and families and jobs and lives that would I wouldn’t want to impose on. I have some family members that I could ask … but there is the appointment thing again, where I have no doubt my family or friends or Bishop or Home teacher would be there if I needed them ... but when do I determine when it's OK to bug them??? IT BITES...BIG TIME!

Well, all is not lost, dear readers ...
I can pray ... He always listens ... He always cares and He always loves me ... at 2:30 on a Sunday afternoon and at 3:00 in the morning when I can't sleep because all that is wrong with my life has surfaced and I am hysterical and out of control! His spirit comforts my aching heart or my aching head and He never requires an appointment. There are plenty of occasions when I need more than that ... and I have to make an appointment. It's my poor Bishop that gets the brunt end of that because I don't want to open my heart with all of my woes to just anyone ... that's another draw back ...so thanks, Bishop for always having an available appontment. And I promise to never call at 3:00 in the morning unless absolutely necessary!

Faith really is the glue that keeps it all together!

I keep mulling over all the things in my life that I am trying to get through ... and I realize that faith really is the glue that keeps it all together.

Faith Is The Glue

Written by Janalea Jeppson 9/2008


When nothing makes sense
faith steps in and I find the logic.

When I question "why?" or "why me?"
faith is the Comforter's arms around me assuring me

that everything happens for a purpose.

When I feel abandoned
faith walks with me and I realize I am not alone.

When life is too noisy
faith is the music that sings me to sleep.


When life is painful and it hurts
faith is the balm the heals my soul.

When nothing seems fair
faith is the peace that I find telling me

that all works out in the eternal wash.

When everything is good
I realize that faith is my joy.

When my heart burns with the spirit
I know that because of faith, I recognize its warmth.

When I am still ... I can hear God's voice
it is my faith that interprets what He needs me to know.

When all that's left is hope ...
that is then when I realize that it is because of faith

... that I have hope.

Things I've Learned ...

I was looking at the cover of one of my videos, actually one of my favorite stories ... "Ever After" ... It's the story of Cinderella ...with attitude! I love a story with attitude ... a fair maiden in distress is eye rolling to me! I believe that strong independant women are wonderful things! But, as I sat there on my bed looking at the cover of that video, I was thinking of the famous last line of most fairy tales .. "And they lived happily ever after." I made a raspberry at the thought ... Is there such a thing as Happily Ever After? Happily ever after is not a place that you magically end up once you have married ... finished college .... overcome a challenge ... Happily ever after is a journey not a destination!

Happily ever after is what I used to think happened after you married your personal prince charming. Because I never got married I guess I never thought I would have a happily ever after ... well, because it is a journey...not a destination we create our own happily ever after.

Sometimes that journey is filled with joy and laughter ... sometimes it is heavy with sorrow and frustration ...and sometimes it is just plain boring !

When I am standing on the other side of the veil, I want it to be said that I not only lived ...but, that I had fun doing it! With every hill I've had to climb, every trial I have had to over come, every disappointment I've endured, every joy, every laugh every hope and every dream come true ...I am building my happily ever after.

So far in my journey I have experienced some wonderful things ... (see 100 things about me in previous blog)

I have learned a great deal as well ...

1. I've learned that if the grass looks greener on the other side ... someone spilled some paint!

2. I have learned that Dogs have owners ... cats have personal assistants ... I happen to be the personal assistant to one princess even as I blog!

3. I have learned that men are like parking spaces ... the good ones are taken and the rest are usually not worth the extra walk!

4. I have learned that God gives flowers to everyone ...not just the girlfriends or the brides .. (I did steal that line from Cherie Call)

5. I have learned that you can love an animal even if they stink ...

6. And clean carpets are not nearly as fun as red kool aide or a cat that has accidents!

7. I have learned that it doesn't matter what other people think as long as you know you've chosen the right.

8. Embarrassment does not last forver and is rarely remembered by anyone but you!

9. The answer to all things lie somewhere in the scriptures.

10. That if you have to pull off the freeway to pee ... it is far more important to do so than not ...

11. I have learned that nothing is as bad as it seems ...

12. I have learned that faith is the glue that keeps it all together

13. I have learned that there is humor in everything ...and if it isn't funny...keep looking and you'll laugh til ya pee!

14. I have learned that when the chips are down ... there is nothing as wonderful as having a family on your side!

15. I have learned that no matter what you are going through ... or how old you get ... there is nothing quite as soothing as the sound of your mother's voice.

16. I have learned that liking what you do is far more important than how much money that you make.

17. I have learned that the greatest place to spend some time is the temple!

18. I have learned that where ever you go, there you are ... you can't run away from yourself!

19. I have learned that whatever you think will manifest itself into truth!

20. I have learned that you teach people how to treat you.

21. I have learned that if I fully rely on God ... I will never be disappointed!

22. I have learned that if I take a few extra moments in the morning to make my lunch ....I can save myself 5.00 bucks!

23. I have learned that some weeds are beautiful ... sunflowers come to mind.

24. I have learned that McDonalds Hi C orange drink tasts as good now as it did when I was 4

25. I have learned that amazing things can happen if you believe!

26. I have learned tht if you're gonna dream ... DREAM BIG!

27. I have learned that music can bring hope and fill my heart with joy and if life really bites I just need to find some tunes!

28. A testimony of the gospel can give you power that I could never describe or explain!

29. And keeping Christ your focus will keep your life centered!

30. I have learned that it is not required that I know all things ... I must just have faith in all things

31. I have learned that gratutude is everything! If I focus on my gratefuls, I find joy in how much I am truely blessed.

32. I have learned that the most beautiful sound in the world is a child laughing!

33. And I have learned that everyday gives me a new opportunity to learn something new .. so I know I will never stop learning ...

and as I journey to my happily ever after, I want it to be said that it wasn't about the "ever after" what mattered most was the living!

100 things about me ...

My sister-in-law did this on her blog ... I thought it was fun so here goes ....

100. I am the second of 4 or third of 10 ...it depends on which parent you ask :)

99. I am perfectly delightful in every way ... ask anyone ...:o)

98. I was on the show Hotel Balderdash when I was little ... it was a cartoon show that came on in the morning.

97. My parents divorced when I was 3

96. I tried to convince my friends in elementry school that Bill Cosby was my dad.

95. It never occured to me that he was black and I was a fair skinned norwegian!... oh well

94. I love to read! I have always loved to read!

93. I used to hide in a walk in closet when I was a kid and read in the middle of the night.

92. I wanted the part of Mary in the church Christmas play when I was five

91. I got the part of the angel ...

90. I was told it was because I could sing and she couldn't ...

89. I wasn't convinced

88. I fell in love with Bobby N when I was in first grade ... I thought we would get married someday.

87. I am not a fickle woman ... I loved him until he moved away in the 3rd grade!

86. I never married him ...

85. My first kiss was with Michael R in the back yard.

86. He called my brother retarded and I threw a stick at him!

85. HE NEEDED 22 STICHES!!!

84. DON'T MESS WITH ME AND MINE OR YOU'RE NEXT!

83. I met my first bestest friend while rollerskating on the play ground (we were 9)

82. She is still my friend (now we're old)

81. My dad remarried when I was 9

80. My first pet was a cat named Jennifer

79. Santa Claus used to come to our house every Christmas eve to visit !!! No, really!! In person! I was 9 whenI figured out it was uncle Ken!

78. Looks like 9 was a busy year for me!

77. I hated Jr High ( show me a child who liked it!)

76. It was there I encountered my first bully

75. I wrote about her years later and it was published in a Chicken Soup for the Soul Book

74. I went to an all night slumber party with the Girls Scouts at the YMCA

73. It was one of the best nights of my life.

72. I got sick at Girl Scout Camp in Ogden canyon

71. I got to ride to Ogden Regional Medical center in an ambulance!

70. I thought I was so cool!

69. I am horribly afraid of heights!

68. I used to sluff math class by hanging out in the Seminary building

67. I went to East High School .. Go Leopards!

66. I was going to marry someone who finally told me he was gay

65. we never got married!

64. I worked in the mailroom at the church offices for 10 years

63. I delivered the mail to the General authorities

62. Elder Boyd K Packer called me "pickles" (long story)=, I'll blog about it sometime)

61. I was stuck in an elevetor with L Tom Perry for 30 minutes

60. I "borrowed" my mother's car and was pulled over by a police officer

59. I thought I was going to get arrested!

58. My friend laughed at me until she peed her pants

57. And then I peed my pants

56. My skirt fell off while I was standing on the Plaza by the Marriot Library at the U.

55. It was the first time in my life I actually got cat calls!

54. One Saturday, while visiting my dad, my brothers cornered me and tickled me until I peed my pants ...I still feel the trauma! :)

53. My brother passed away after being hit with a car

52. It was the worst day of my life!

51. He's been gone for 26 years and I miss him like it was yesterday

50. I went away to be a nanny in Connecticut

49. I was there for a year

48. It was one of the greatest experiences in my life!

47. I lived with my grandparents while I went to the U

46. My grandpa used to nose through my things

45. My newly wed sister gave me birth control pills so he'd have something to "find"

44. I spent the next 10 years trying to convince him it was a joke!

43. I once was awakened by the whiskers of a mouse!! It was in my bed!!!

42. I screamed so loud, my grandpa thought someone had broken in to the house!

41. I peed my pants

40. I think we've established that I have a small, week bladder!

39. When I was a nanny I went to a Christmas party at Ron Howard's house! (he's very nice)

38. I got lost in NYC when I refused to go to a bar with my friends

37. The gift of the Holy Ghost is a wonderful thing!

36. He helped me find my way!

35. If I could live anywhere in the world I would want a cottage in the mountains ... or a cottage on the beach

34. I write poetry and stories

33. My dream job would be to be able to make enough money to live on by writing

32. When I was little I wanted to be a red carpet reporter!

31. My drama teacher in High school once encouraged a career in acting

30. I was in a community theater production of "Fiddler on The Roof"

29. I was also the scarecrow in "The Wizard Of OZ"

28. I played a crazy lady in the production of "The Attic"

27. I was once in a community choir called Choreo

26. We made three CD's that can be purchased at Deseret book

25. I still dream of being a songwriter

24. I wanted to be a wife and a mom

23. I have faith that sometime in eternity that will still happen

22. I have an eternal companion ... His name is Ben ... (see previous blog)

21. I was in the primary presidency in one calling or another for 7 years

20. I was only released because I moved

19. I bought my first Condo when I was 37

18. I have taught in Relief Society

17. I have been the secretary in the Young Women

18. I am now on the activities committee

17. I Love being an Auntie

16. My nieces: Brittani 22, Hannah 15, Devin 19, Ana Murin 7, Annie 4, Audrey 6, Lily 1, Kate 2, Natali' 5, Niki 20, Ashley (passed away at 20 in 2007)

15. My nephew's: Anthony 23, Brandon 21, Eric 14, Andrew 21, Sam 12, Noah 3, Christopher 26, Levi 16, Zaccari 17, Corey was 11 when he passed away from cancer

14. My grand neices are Sariah 4, and Jordan 1, and my grand nephew Chaim 6.

13. I love my family ... they bring joy to my heart

12. I love to make crafts ... mostly card making and scrapbooking

11. I also crochet and do bead work

10. I like my job ... I credential doctors

9. I dream about having enough money to buy my dream house

8. Being a published novalist is a dream I am working on making come true

7. I studied English/journalism and creative writing in college

6. I would like to write a screen play someday.

5. I was endowed 20 yars ago this October 8th

4. I have a strong testimony of the gospel!

3. House work is not my forte' ... I love to blog! (I post this as I sit in my dirty, cluttered living room! ... blogging instead of cleaning!)

2. I love my cat ... stinky though she may be ...

1. I am the daughter of God and that is the greatest thing about me!

Do you have a perfect family? ... someone said yes, I know, I heard it! Though very faint... it was there! Can I join? I want to be part of a perfect family!!!! ....WHAT? A family is something you're born into ... not something you join ... I beg to differ ... you join a family when you are married ... what's that ... you are reminding me that I am single ... how rude!!

Oh, family, don't get your knickers in a twist!! I love you, I am not going to join another one! But people .... we've got to get the communication level to at least a sub par level ... because ... well, face it ... we suck at it right now!!!

My family is weird ...or truely American ... it came in sections ... my parents were married for 5 years and begat 4 children ...(no waisting any time) ... I was 3 when my parents divorced.

My father married when I was 9. She had two kids ... they had four together.
My mother married a man with 6 kids when I was 20.

Ok ...so I just established that there are alot of us! ... I am not too concerned with the communication of myself to my stepfather's children ...after all, with only a couple of exceptions, I don't even know them.
So, I must be talking about my father's family!

I have 4 sisters ... and 4 living brother's (my brother who passed away at 16 is off the hook right now)!

Anyway, My one sister was in a car accident ... I heard about it weeks after it happened when I ran into an Aunt at the grocery store who asked me how my sister was doing? ...

My step mother just had a stroke ... OK I heard about that a couple of days after it happened so it wasn't quite as bad, but come on people ... we are all capable of dialing ...so, what's the deal?? I have a fear that I will be reading an obituary in the paper and that's how I'll hear about a death!

I have a plan ... we all need a buddy ... one sibling to one sibling ... that way all you have to call is one person!!!! ONE PERSON IS DO-ABLE! OK ...

Norleen calls ElRey
ElRey calls Kayleen
Kayleen calls Jana ...
Jana calls Bryan (We all know Bryan won't call so ...)
Jana calls Ruth
Ruth calls Becky
Becky calls Jacob
Jacob calls Jerry ...I put Jerry at the bottom 'cause I don't think he'll call either

Can we do this??? Will we do this?? come on people... let's try!

My Sister, My Friend ...

I was just reading my younger sister's blog ... she is facing a challenge and has been for some time ... she has some heart problems ...Last year she had surgery and things have been going well ... but, there has been a set back and the lower chamber of her heart is in trouble! It is dangerous and scary and she is heart broken ...(no pun intended).

Sweet Ruth, I wish I could trade hearts with you ... I'm too old to have children and I know you desire more ... I would do anything ...give anything if I could take the pain away . I am so sorry you have to hurt. Hang onto your faith... Please know that if you give the Lord all the strength you have, He will meet you where ever you are and give you His strength too! Believe that He can make this right and He will help you in your unbelief. His hand is in all things and I know He is with you. I can't answer the question when you say "why me?" but I know deep within my soul that Our Father Is with You ... He may not answer that question either ... I know each of His children, including myself has asked that question a million times ...

and more than once He has answered me, "you don't need to know the reason why ... you just need to trust that I know and I will carry you ... I do not require that you know all things ...only that you have Faith in all things, and trust Me!"

Ruth, this may not help now, or ease your aching heart, but know that I love you and I beleive that our Father will see you through this ...I have faith that He can and will heal what is broken in your heart both emotionally and physically, He heals One by One, I know if is His will He can heal you too, and if there is a greater design here ... I know He will get you through this. This song is for you ... I hope in brings you comfort:

Hillery Weeks:

Living Out Loud!!

What does it mean to "Live Out Loud"? It sounds fun!! Like if I don't do it, I am probably missing out on something! I think it means to embrace life with gusto, not wasting a day on things that don't matter! What doesn't matter?? Perhaps unnecessary worry! I found a couple of thoughts on that: "Throughout life, the two most futile emotions are guilt for what has been done, and worry about what might be done." ~ Wayne Dyer remember, worry is like a rocking chair - it gives you something to do but it doesn't get you anywhere. (I'd do well to remember that ...I am the worry diva of our time :)) I have blogged recently about developing an attitude of gratitude and making our dreams come true ... finding your passion! I think all of these things are imperative to living out loud! Start living out loud right this minute!!
First:
Shake away your worries! Go ahead ... I'll wait :) stand up and wiggle all your worries away! (OK ...someone out there is whining ... STOP IT!!!)
Now take control by counting your grateful's everyday! Count your blessings day by day and all your worries will fly away!!
Second:
Invent your future;
"When it comes to the future, there are three kinds of people: those who let it happen, those who make it happen, and those who wonder what happened." ~ John M Richardson Jr
I don't want to be one of the ones who wondered what happened?? Or the one who lets it happen ... I want to make it happen!
Find what inspires you and let that be a springboard to leap you into where ever you want to be ...take control ...consentrate...have faith ...now FLY! GOOD LUCK!!

!!!!AND LIVE OUT LOUD!!!!

and listen to Ryan Schupe and the Rubber Band!:

How do you spell Farm??

I was going through an old journal and read a story from my past that was so humorous, I want to share ...
I was teaching the sunbeams in primary ....(my calling at the time) We had had a lovely lesson on farm animals ... I think it was called , "My Heavenly Father gave me farm Animals" ... at the end of the lesson I passed out crayons and paper and asked the children to color me a picture of their favorite farm animal. The children kept themselves busy with their creations ... asking for help occasionally with things like "teacho ...can you draw and eye ball for my cow? or "teacho ... what does a horsey tail look like?"
There were occasional outbursts of peer rivalry ... like "teaho! Brenton is drawing a chicken!!! I want to have the only chicken!" Or "Teacho ... I think cows should be orange and Lisa has the orange color and she won't share!"
Nothing to earth shattering ... and then the question was asked:

Brenton: "Teacho ... How do you spell farm??"
Lisa: " Oh, Brenton you are so dumb ...everyone can spell farm but you!" (laugh laugh)
Brenton: " Well then tell me how!" (practically crying in frustration)
Lisa: "E-I-E-I-O"

Sweet Lisa ... she'd be about 24 years old now ... I hope she knows how to spell farm!