The Time To Be Happy Is Now!!

I was just thinking about happiness, about being happy... How many times have I said to myself, I'll be happy when (place awesome reason to be happy here!) What about the happy now? Forget dying and going to some blissful heaven. Forget retiring and finally enjoying your life. Forget about when you are enlightened and how good it will supposedly feel. This moment is special. This is it. Yet we often wait for some special occasion or reason to celebrate. We often spend our lives striving to get to some destination that we think will make us happy. Even when you get there is it all that it was promised to be? What are you waiting for to be different in your life? Waiting leads to suffering. Beliefs that are Happiness Killers: The journey needs to be suffering, struggle, or hard. Something needs to be different in order for you to be happy. Life owes you something. You should be different than you are: Prettier, skinnier, richer, etc. The life you have now was not meant to be your life. Bottom line: one of the greatest happiness killers is the belief that “The experience I am having IS NOT the experience that I should be having.” Right now, let go of the of the way you think your life should be. Or the way you thought your life should have turned out. Or how you dreamed it was going to be when you were twelve. Accept that this is your life right now. Accept it. This is how it is NOW. And now is all you have. When you accept that this is your life, today. Then you can start appreciating the richness available to you now. And since what you focus on will expand, you will manifest more of that richness. When you stay stuck in regret of the life you should have had, you end up missing the beauty of what you do have. So the life you have is the life you were meant to have, but not the life that you need to continue having from this moment onward, if you choose otherwise. You cannot have the life you want by focusing on the life you wished you had but don’t. Forgive yourself. Forgive those you feel wronged you. Then fully embrace the life you have in order to create the life you truly want. As you embrace the life you have, you can savor every single moment. Not waiting for something special to happen. No New Years. No Valentines. No retirement. No wedding. No bonus. Just now. So: Take your best dress out of the closet and wear it. Take your best plate out of the cupboard and use it. Take your best loving off of the shelf and share it. Take your mind off of control and lose it. Happiness is the way. Not simply a destination to get to. So, come be happy with me!!! It will be a kick!!!

Though life is hard, I am blessed...

Here I am, still trying to figure it all out. I do not understand why this must be, what am I not learning that I need to be? I haven't posted for a while. But here I am again ... frustrated with life and the trials therein ... same crap, different day.

But, when I think of all I do endure I think of how blessed I have been ... the quiet hero who left an envelope taped to my front door with a precious gift. Whom ever you were ... God bless you. Bless also the angel in the mail, my gratitude can find no words. I am also blessed for the yummy soup that Gloria shares with me, and for the bucket of fudge from Melissa. I am so blessed by the love and concern from my sister and her family for my temporal and emotional well being. I have been so blessed by good wishes and prayers from friends and family that when I'm feeling whiny, I just have to count my blessings! I am sure the adversary just sits and hopes that these trials in life will break me ... yea verily I say unto you, dude!  I can kick some Satan butt!!! Bring it on!!!!!!!!!!
My trials are miner comparatively speaking  ... and I can almost hear my grandma say ... Jana, this too shall pass. (sooner than later, I hope)

I miss you, Leon

I was just missing my brother, Leon ... I wrote him a poem:

 Remember You Still

                               written by Jana Jeppson 1/10/2012

It's been so long

almost thirty years have gone

yet, sometimes it's just

like yesterday

I remember you, still

I remember laughing with you

so hard until our stomachs hurt

but I don't remember why.

I remember when you

helped me over a puddle,

Like a knight in shining armor

so my feet would not get wet.

I remember how you played

the bum boogie on the piano

and how you sang,

off tune and monotone ...

about everything!

Even to the point of annoyance!

I remember your laugh,

your sense of humor,

your smile

and your dreams ...

I can still hear the echo

from the silence

on the day that you passed.

Sixteen is way too young

for a boy to die.

And though time passes

   you are alive within my heart,

because, I remember you still ...

The Spirit of Christmas

It's Christmas time and in spite of all of life's challenges, I recognize the spirit and God's hand in my life. I have witnessed and been the recipient of many kindnesses. My heart has been touched and is filled with gratitude. The Christmas spirit has been sweet and gentle and it has settled on my life so softly that it has been easy to overlook its simplicity. I have learned that it is imperative to pay attention and to be still and recognize God. Sometimes the spirit of Christmas is reverent and sacred and not necessarily festive ... but quiet ... and holy. That is the spirit of Christmas I feel this year.
The Christmas spirit is what makes this season so precious ... President Thomas S Monson quoted the following in a talk, it is by an unknown author;

I am the Christmas Spirit.

I enter the home of poverty, causing pale-faced children to open their eyes wide in pleased wonder.

I cause the miser's clutched hand to relax and thus paint a bright spot on his soul.

I cause the aged to renew their youth and to laugh in the glad old way.

I keep romance alive in the heart of childhood and brighten sleep with dreams woven of magic.

I cause eager feet to climb dark stairways with filled baskets, leaving behind them hearts amazed at the goodness of the world.

I cause the prodigal to pause a moment on his wild, wasteful way, and send to anxious love some little token that releases glad tears--tears which wash away the hard lines of sorrow.

I enter dark prison cells, reminding scarred manhood of what might have been, and pointing forward to good days yet to come.

I come softly into the still, white home of pain; and lips that are too weak to speak just tremble in silent, eloquent gratitude.

In a thousand ways I cause the weary world to look up into the face of God, and for a little moment forget the things that are small and wretched.

I am the Christmas Spirit.

I usually write a poem for the holidays. I didn't write one this year. Instead though, I am inspired by God's unconditional love and strengthened by my testimony of that love and touched by the sweet peace that His spirit brings to my life. May all of my friends and family be touched by his spirit and invite Him to stay in your heart always.

Merry Christmas!





E James Jeppson Dec 6, 1939 - Dec 7, 2011

My daddy died today. He's had pneumonia. I have thought alot about him today. He was silly sometimes. I remember he would say whenever we were going somewhere that required paid admission, "If you walk in backwards, they'll think your leaving and they won't charge me for your ticket. " That always made me laugh. He would say things like "Half passed kissin time, time to kiss again." or "let's have a family huddle" or when we were getting out of the car he'd say, "all out who's gettin out!" ... but my best memory is when he would sing to me ...

"You are my sunshine
my only sunshine
you make me happy when skies are gray.
You'll never know, dear, how much I love you.
Please don't take my sunshine away."

I think that when it comes right down to it ... all that matters is family. I felt that today. I am so grateful that when my dad left us today, he left knowing that we were with him and I said goodbye knowing that he loved me ... every little girl just needs to be loved by her daddy. You never outgrow that.

Grateful Things ...

In the eulogy for Steve Jobs read at his funeral by his sister. she said that at the end he looked at her, at his wife, at the children, and then said looking just passed them, " 'OH WOW.  OH WOW.  OH WOW.'" I try to image what wonders he might have glimpsed at that moment, just beyond the veil.   It made me wonder, right here on this earth, how many moments of "Wow"  I miss daily because I have come to take them for granted or don't stop the rush of my perceptions to truly see.  Surely, greeting each day with "Wow!" is a divine exclamation worthy of a prayer.Thank you, God."  Gratitude, I know, sets the tone for a day in which "wow" can pop up frequently.  In the space that gratitude carves, I see clearly that everything is a gift.  Either it is a recognizable gift or it can be reshaped to become a gift.  This Thursday we will focus on our blessings and say thanks with friends and family at the table.  What if everyday we could take a moment and say, "Wow.  Thank you, God."

Today I want to say Thank you to my Father in Heaven for the most precious blessings I have; my family and friends, the gospel, my testimony, His unconditional love and caring for me. I am grateful that even in this difficult time in my life that He has my back. That I feel my Saviors love everywhere, in everything! I am grateful for temporal blessings. My house, my car ... indoor plumbing, pillows! I am grateful for hope and laughter! I am grateful for diet coke and donuts and sweet and sour chicken or Dave's bar-b Que! (hmmm bar-b-Que).  I am so grateful for the kindnesses that have been shown to me ... by friends, family and anonymous surprises in the mail. The best way to thank a kindness, is to pay it forward ... I was reading about a woman who turns 70 this month, and is celebrating by doing 70 "Random Acts of Kindness"! Opportunities for kindness show up many times a day.  A person enters our mind...another shows up at the door to our office or our home...a creative idea pops up that might be a blessing to many...the weary clerk needs a warm smile and a special thank you...the person on the other side of the kitchen table needs to be really listened to...  Maybe it's sort of like, "Ask not what God can do for you but what you can do for God."  And maybe those two things magically turn out to be the same.  And perhaps I can repay the many kindnesses shown to me by being kind to others.

Memories of Grandma

Gene Autry singing
songs of Christmas
sends me spinning
back through time ...

At Grandma's house
I smell Cinnamon,
oatmeal cutout cookies
and homemade bread.

She tells me stories
about growing up
the oldest child ...
when Christmas presents
were bought with money
meant for Novocaine at the dentist.

We make candy for neighbors
and laugh ... my siblings and I
fight over who gets
to lick the spoon ...
and grandpa takes it.

Grandma,
I miss you ...
I wish we could go back ...
just for the afternoon ...
and make candy once again.

Or maybe New Years Eve with
Guy Lombardo, bingo and
your infamous ribbon sandwich
with grape juice!

Instead I'll treasure the moments
the magic, and the memories ...
and miss you still.